Wilmington Foodblog - Eats in the Port City

I am living in Wilmington, NC at the moment. Technically I live at my parents' house which is admittedly sad at age 28, but it is a temporary thing while my wife is in Cincinnati selling our house. Honest. And I live in an apartment above the garage, like Kirk Cameron in the last season of Growing Pains (no roommate named Boner though, sorry).

But being a fat guy, and loving to eat out, I figured I could do restaurant reviews for this town, which is a great place for gourmands, connoisseurs, and gluttons (like me!). Mind you, I won't be reviewing any upscale places, because I don't eat in any. I really don't like paying more than $20/person before drinks. Why should I pay $100 for some tiny scraps of food, especially if I have to get dressed up to get eat there? F that crap.

DISCLAIMER: I do not eat beef or pork. I only know where good burgers/steaks/chorizo are by word of mouth. Assume all of my ratings are based on poultry or seafood dishes. /DISCLAIMER

Oh, and to show how not-classy my reviews are, I will be rating the restaurants in a gastronomical unit I just invented called the "tongasm". Here we go:

J Michael's Philly Deli: This place is a cornerstone of Wilmington dining. Nothing fancy, just awesome heart-clogging deliciousness. They are best know for their cheesesteaks (and chicken cheesesteaks) that contain at least half a pound each of shaved meat and melted provolone. There is so much molten cheese that there is typically a puddle of it between the two sandwich halves (served in a basket). They have over a dozen styles of these beauties with various toppings. Very good, very filling, and quite reasonable pricing. Tongasms: 9/10

Flaming Amy's Burrito Barn: I don't know what it is about places like this, but for some reason hippies or punks always make great food. This particular place is somewhat punk (they have Tattoo Tuesdays where you show your "ink" and get 10% off and the employees have lots of various piercings and whatnot) along with various counterculture/tacky decor on the walls. The portions are large, and the choices are endless (there are about 20 meat/protein options and about 30 veggies/beans/plant stuff to assemble your burrito/taco with). They also have a salsa bar with lots of tasty options including ginger peach, pineapple jalapeno, and a flavorful hot. Only complaints are that the chips aren't anything special, and the dining room is generally dirty (salsa + chips + children/drunk people/drunk children = mess). Tongasms: 7/10

K38 Baja Grill: I don't get it. This place is always packed to the gills. Good luck finding parking on their $1 taco nights. But the food sucks! It is tex-mex style, which I have never been a fan of anyway. Their homemade salsa is good, and actually pretty spicy which is a welcome change from most places. But really, with lots of good Mexican places in town, why would you eat here? Is it the bastardized cuisine or the high prices that reel people in? The cramped, dark dining room maybe? Tongasms: 2/10 (and I think I faked one of them)

Romanelli's: This has always been a favorite of our family's. They have a nice mix on the menu of American-style classics, pasta, pizza, and bar food. This is the place we often go to for family meals, especially with the grandparents. They have a $0.35 wing night that is a great deal (their wings actually have meat on them, and are big). I can't recall ever getting something there I haven't liked. And while some of the "entrees" are a bit expensive, most everything is under $10-12. There is also a full bar with several draft beer choices. Tongasms: 8/10

PT's Grille: Another Wilmington Staple. Very simple food: burgers, grilled chicken, dogs, and grilled sandwiches served up fast and tasty. The fries have a lemon pepper dusting that is light and unique. All of their locations have outdoor seating that allows you to enjoy a nice breeze, some sun, and sip on their homemade lemonade until you dread going back to work. I'm told they have the best burgers in town. Tongasms: 7/10

More restaurants to come.

Props: J Michaels for staying the course for all these years (We're not changing a God-Damned thing!) ; Romanelli's BBQ chicken pizza; Me, for ruling

Slops: K38 (Why so popular? Why?); 19th century French aristocrats; Mayonnaise